Moscow. Kremlin. August 12, 1961.
Imperialist spies have attempted to sabotage the Soviet model
by imposing their Capitalist logic
in the very heart of one of our state stores.
They've arranged the shoes in pairs.
Comrades...
we must retaliate assertively and swiftly!
Who votes for operation "Great Wall of China"?
Thank you, comrade. Dismissed.
Long live President Khrushchev
and long live the revolution!
This is the latest model.
It came out of our factories in Minsk.
The Westerners are so jealous of them.
Hello, Colonel. Hello.
Do you have a wedding?
No, I... I need you to type me three copies
of these documents. It's urgent.
Well, what are you waiting for?
I'm not a secretary anymore, Colonel.
Since when?
Your resignation is refused.
You've done a good job.
I couldn't bring André back, I failed.
It happens to the best of them.
Calot, Jacquard and Moulinier have failed a few missions.
Really?
A long time ago.
Beginner's mistake, let's drop the matter.
I hope he's not in danger.
He took a huge risk. You mess with the KGB, you pay the price.
God only knows where he is now.
He's really breaking my balls with his whining!
Be quiet, Merlaux.
Quiet, Merlaux!
We should maybe take the hood off.
He's going to suffocate.
I don't understand.
He's not going to keep this up all the way, is he?
How long will it take to get to Berlin?
It's really quick, thirty hours at most!
Russia is so beautiful.
Take off the hood and gag. He's quite annoying.
But keep the handcuffs on, I don't trust him.
I'm not a Soviet mole.
Oh yeah? So what were you up to in Moscow?
Luckily we saw you at the airport, or the mole was gone.
So quiet, or the hood goes back on!
By the way, how are we getting into West Berlin if he has no papers?
He'll have papers. It's my region.
I've been to Berlin too.
Yes, we remember.
The whole world remembers!
Let's talk about your missions...
Hush! They could be listening.
It doesn't even work.
It works fine.
But I'm not a secretary. Are you sure about that?
You'll do me a few favors, such as this one.
For instance, when you're done typing these documents,
you will deliver Merlaux to me.
You have 36 hours to bring him back to me.
Otherwise I'll tell everybody who is concerned
about your unnatural, sodomite activities,
which are, as you know, punishable by imprisonment
and would lead de facto illico to the suspension stricto sensu
of your civil servant status!
See you later, Georges.
Belarus is so beautiful.
Hey, Calot, could you close your window?
I can feel the draft. I have sensitive ears.
If I close it, it'll turn off the radio.
That's not necessarily a problem.
My ears are sensitive too.
Well, it also tends to deflate the tires.
How can he sleep knowing what's awaiting him in Paris?
Maybe he's not the mole. Yeah, right!
Anyway.
I'm starving right now.
I could eat a horse.
You need to understand, we're delighted about Marie-Jo
being promoted to agent status.
She's so deserving!
But the thing is, her secretary status was never revoked.
Oh dear. And her position hasn't been filled.
So this is dereliction of duty. Dereliction of duty.
Oh dear, oh dear.
We must therefore ask for the relevant administrative
sanction.
And also the corollary bonus for the extra work.
And the bonus.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Yes, indeed, there is a hiatus.
Thank you, ladies,
I will delve into the aforementioned hiatus.
In the meantime, life goes on.
We're collecting money
to celebrate Marie-Jo's promotion.
Do you have a basket? Of course.
If I may, what do you plan to buy her?
It's a ladies' thing.
But all right...
It's a stomach girdle.
Yes, because...
Right.
Good job.
Now put them through the shredder.
Oh gosh! Time flies. It's almost three!
Only 30 hours left to go.
If you don't deliver Merlaux on time,
the entire service will know that you're a faggot.
Type them all up again. Three copies of each.
Don't forget my shirts at the dry cleaner's.
Poland is so beautiful.
There's no end in sight.
Stop at the gas station. What? Where?
Over there!
Stop it, for Pete's sake!
The next one will be in 134 kilometers!
Jacquard, you come with me. Moulinier, keep an eye on Merlaux.
Always barking orders...
So you take the big bag...
and you give it to the gas station attendant.
Wait! Your change.
This module is starting to sink in.
That's for sure.
Congratulations, Jacquard.
What are you doing?
No tip! Are you out of your mind!
It's considered corruption!
You've still got a ways to go!
Your hiatus is a pain in the ass, Schmidt!
I have other fish to fry.
If I may, Colonel,
this hiatus affects the organizational structure.
And a category change
that isn't anticipated by the rule book
is a Class 1 problem.
In that case, submit a request for an exception committee.
Very well, Colonel, I shall do my duty.
I will prepare the forms.
But...
since this situation has led to a vacant position,
who will type the request?
Georges.
We'll stop in Berlin for the night.
In the French zone, I hope. No.
In the Soviet zone.
Oh no!
Don't you think we've seen enough?
I know a nice hotel.
Nice? What's wrong with you, Calot?
It's essential so as to properly complete your training module.
Herr Calot?
What's he saying?
He says he's happy to see her again.
He even added
"doubly happy".
You should've
told us you wanted to come here to see your girlfriends.
She's wonderful.
We asked for a suite.
This is a suite. The honeymoon suite.
Good night.
What's the meaning of this?
East Germany is so beautiful.
I like Paris better.
Come over here.
The KGB's after me,
I won't be breaking free in East Berlin.
Enough with the rehearsed mole arguments!
You're doing this now? Night could fall at any time.
I'm comfortable here.
You don't miss Marthe? Oh, I miss her...so much.
What about Dad?
I think he's not very well.
So tell me about the wedding.
How's it shaping up?
I'm not sure anymore.
What are you not sure about?
If I should get married!
Darling...just be free!
Do what makes you happy.
Don't get married if you don't want to!
I think I love another man.
What's his name?
Yamine.
You know, darling,
he's probably very nice,
this young...
Arab.
But those people aren't like us.
How do you know he doesn't already have a wife or two?
And what language are you even going to speak?
It sounds like they're always insulting one another.
Sophie, my darling...
there are so many men who are...normal!
You wished it would be a German soldier, to uphold
our family tradition!
Shit!
Someone stole our car!
It's got to be Merlaux. Come on, I'm over here.
And what is that thing? It wasn't there yesterday.
It's a wall. But where does it end?
Did they build that overnight?
German workers are the best in the world.
Do your friends own the hotel?
Because it lost half its value with that ruined view.
Losing the car is quite a blow.
Five meters away, and we'd be good.
Why did they do that?
Did you ask for me?
Is everything all right?
Everything's fine.
I wanted to get you trained in...
"Manipulation and blackmail", a crucial module to become a full-fledged agent.
We'll start off with a practical case study.
Imagine an agent has compromising information
on a target
and blackmails that target.
What can the target do to dodge the blackmail attempt?
A compromising information...like a secret,
something that nobody knows about?
Exactly.
And if the secret were to be revealed by the agent
it would ruin the target's life?
Exactly.
Well, there's suicide, of course.
But...the best way out
for blackmailing targets would have to be...
revealing the info to the authorities themselves.
It may be painful for the target but it's the best way
to eliminate the threat.
Thank you, Marie-Jo.
Did I pass my training module?
Oh, yes. You did. Bravo.
Get them out of the car!
Out!
If I were you, I wouldn't do this.
KGB.
Our apologies, comrade.
These eastern people are really peculiar.
Why build a wall in the middle of a city?
From what I've heard,
they erected it because of a shoe incident.
Back to the jungle.
So you have a KGB card,
but you're not a KGB mole?
Can I see it?
If I were a KGB mole, why would I save you?
Makes sense.
So where did you get that card?
You guys validated my "real fake passport" module.
True.
Beautiful, isn't it?
It was nice of your friends to give us their van.
She's very dear to me.
Which one? They look so much alike,
it's hard to tell them apart.
Why would you want to?
Moulinier, stop here.
Sir, yes, sir!
Thank you, Herr Calot!
You're out of your mind.
We could've been arrested. Or even sent to the gulag!
If it's real.
And you could've gotten us sent to the gulag if it's real -
with your shoe-arranging shenanigans in Moscow.
Oh, come on. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
We just put them in pairs.
Me too.
To be honest, West Germany isn't that beautiful.
You look worried, Georges.
Oh no, it's nothing... Come on.
Tell me.
I'm having problems at work.
Really? But you've always told me
you loved working for Renault. Until now.
Now, my boss is mad at me.
Your foreman?
Uh...yes.
It's because of a guy on my team.
One of the millers, I gather.
Yes.
You see? I've been listening. Go on.
I think the foreman is blackmailing me
because he thinks
that the miller's gone over to Citroën.
That's why he's mad at me.
He won't fire you over this. He could do worse.
He could kill me.
Kill you?
He already tried.
He's a resentful man who's not happy with his wife.
Look, Georges,
I'd rather hear the truth rather than these tales.
That you tell me you don't love me anymore.
It would be much more simple.
More honest.
When you tell the truth, you may lose things but you gain your dignity.
And your honor.
So long, Georges.
So, did the module in the East go well?
Yes.
No.
They rearranged some shoes in Moscow.
You've insulted the Soviet system!
By trying to impose your Capitalist notions.
It's an ideological attack.
Who said you have to sell a right shoe
with a left shoe? In the name of what?
In the name of comfort, perhaps.
The quest for comfort marks the beginning of degeneration.
It's wasting workers' strength
using it to make up for personal idleness rather than the collective good.
Stop imposing your capitalist ideas on the rest of the world!
Allow them the right to think and live differently!
You're so over-dramatic. We arrange some shoes,
off to the gulag. A wall is built, World War III breaks out.
It's getting old, Calot.
What's this about a wall?
Can we give Moïse his present?
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
You're not going to open it?
Yes I am.
They're nice, aren't they? Very nice.
Straight from Moscow.
We got you a right shoe
and a left shoe.
Thank you very much.
Thanks.
Thank you so much.
You still haven't grasped how serious the situation is.
Calot, no need to react like that!
We have another gift, but we're still wrapping it up.
Moïse speaking.
We've received an urgent message. Really?
The Soviets built a wall in Berlin overnight.
Overnight? This is the highest state of alert.
Got it.
You're out of time.
The time has come to reveal your shameful illness to everyone.
Colonel.
The Soviets built a wall in Berlin.
Don't try to create a diversion!
Get moving!
Everybody's expecting you.
So.
The exception committee
has made a decision on the hiatus created by Marie-Jo being promoted
by the acting director.
Their verdict is final.
The promotion
by the director in charge stands...
unless...
there's an epidemic.
In the absence of any epidemic, Marie-Jo is indeed
an agent, and the hiatus...
has been eliminated!
Thank you, Schmidt.
And congratulations, Marie-Jo.
Since we're talking about people changing status,
I have something important to reveal to you.
I'll reveal it myself.
So...
I like men.
Merlaux! Is that really him?
Good heavens!